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Stop Blaming Your Staff

I'm going to just say it...bad service is rarely just about the server. As someone who has managed restaurants and now gets called in to fix them, I can tell you the real problem usually starts at the top.  When systems are broken, when training is rushed (or even nonexistent), and when communication is a mess, you're setting you staff up to fail. Then management turns around and blames them for not "caring enough".

Here's what I've seen too many times: a server gets thrown on the floor with little to no prep, the menu changes weekly with no updates, and half the team is brand new because turnover is high.  Guests get frustrated, reviews go downhill and leadership responds by telling me "our staff just isn't motivated".  This evaluation is not just unfair, it's lazy. Most people don't come to work hoping to fail. They want to do well, feel confident, and be part of something that works.  When they don't, that's on leadership. 

The truth is, people want to give great service because it feels good to do a good job. But the way your staff feels on the floor directly shapes how your guests feel at the table. If your staff doesn't feel supported, doesn't know what is expected, or doesn't see leadership showing up for them, they are not going to perform at their best.  Hospitality starts behind the scenes, and when leadership fails to show up for their team, it shows up in the guest experience.  If you want to improve service, start by taking care of your people.  

Here's a simple checklist to help shift your mindset from blame to support:

How to Show Up for Your Staff:

  • Check in, not just check up. Ask how they're doing, not just how the shift went. Make time to connect.
  • Train like it matters. Don't just throw someone into service. Build their confidence first
  • Be consistent. Set clear expectations and hold everyone (including yourself) accountable.
  • Follow through. If you say you will fix something, fix it. If you can't, communicate why.
  • Recognize effort. Say thank you. Notice when someone's hustling or handling a tough guest with grace.
  • Ask for feedback and actually listen. Your team sees things you don't. Make space for their valuable input.
  • Model the behavior you expect. If you want calm under pressure, show it. If you want kindness, lead with it.
  • Back them up. Don't leave your staff to fend for themselves when a guest is out of line or things go sideways.
When you build trust, invest in training, and show up consistently, your team can do what they were hired to do...take care of the guests. The best service doesn't come from fear or pressure, it comes from confidence, communication and a culture that values the people doing the work.

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